Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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