bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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