Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
