so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
