Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
