cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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