arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You made out with two different species that night
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Terrible idea I love it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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