so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize