I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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