Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
