when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I FOUND THE LEGS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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