My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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