um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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