Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
