I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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