id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I deserve this hangover.
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