We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
