i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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