He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize