i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
