My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
