so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
