Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
