So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Im part way to drunk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize