Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
