you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
