My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
