I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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