My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
