we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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