im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
