You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
