I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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