you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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