I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
