but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I need to stop coming to work sober
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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