no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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