Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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