Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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