They should really pass out barf bags in church
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
