you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
