just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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