just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
