I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize