You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
