I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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