I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
