this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
