Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize