I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
