i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
