I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
