Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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