I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
