when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
