whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
