i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
