Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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