To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
