So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
