I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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