my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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