Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
