David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
