you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize