Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize