She is in my trunk
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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