I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
