someone get that fucking seahorse.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
