i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize