no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
