you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
